Boring Vacation & Relocated Girlfriend...

This is my girlfriend Eun Mi Hong, she drives me nuts but I feel closer to her now then ever... which is something since she just moved tto friggin Australia for 1 to 2 years... aghhhh!

I dont know though, maybe this is the reason why I find this vacation so boooooring (thank God it starts back up this thursday) but at the same time, staying home and doing absolutely nothing has given me some time to reflect on my life and the things I want most.

It has also given me some time to think about the elusive and dangerously nerve wracking enigma that is 함지영 shi. I have a blog I'm preparing about Ms. Jiyoung at a later date... but for noww let me just say things keep looking worse and worse in this empty dome I like to call a head.
And so the seconds, minutes, hours and days tick away. I recently met a young boy whom I began to tutor and I find him very pleasant to teach. Almost to the point where I am fearful that he might be becoming my best friend, hahaha. But think about it, I'm 29 and he's just... ummm, 9. More so he speaks 2 words of English and I speak 4 words of Korean (not really but you get my point). It's a frustrating companionship is all, and yet it is also my only escape from the hell of this vacation. I think next semester's vacation I'm gonna go stay with Eun Mi's mom for a week or so.
Now more about Eun Mi:

I met her 2 months after getting here at the Onnuri church of Konkuk University. For being a Christian girl she's a pretty free spirit and appeals to my better nature which I dont have much of. She lost her dad around the same time I did, under different circumstances, and that made us closer. She is a troubled soul that went to school to become a singer. She worked for a clothing shop as a clerk after graduation; a common theme I am seeing repeat itself in the many people i come across here in Korea. For example: the local mini mart's meat slicer man (that is not the official name but I will be writing Lotte shortly to make the suggestion) has a bachelors in Computer engineering. The receptionist at the Local Ramen house restaurant has a degree in Symphonic Composition. A composer!!! But alas, this is Koreas plague, to be dealt by Koreans, not foreigners with a eye for opinions.
Anyway getting back to Eun Mi, she is kind, nice and deserving of my love and affection.... yet why is it i continue to doubt and second guess myself?

Anyway, I've become good at procrastinating and perfecting the art during this vacation. But hope to exhaust this talent before thursday, and still my body says to me... well it's not really saying anything, it's just sittin there waiting for a better moment to tell me what it feels but the moment never comes and so the both of us are stuck in this endless cycle of perpetual procrastination. Man I like that... I'm gonna name this vacation that, but it's a little long so I will abreviate it and ask my friends to check out the pictures of my "PP".

Well, I'm sure the 9 year old will think that joke is estatically funny. God I'm bored =(

- The Time Machine Of Class 220 -

OK, even though I know I explained to everyone last time who Class 220 is, here is a refresher. The above picture from left to right depicts Dave, Raza, Ayrat, Sam, Adi, Me, Jafari and Lauren in an almost movie poster like light. I've taken a little detour from my normal blogging about my time here in Korea to give them a very small going away present, seeing as they are most likely all on their way back to their respective homes, save perhaps Sam and Ayrat. So what is this present, this awesoome gift you might ask? Well it's simple, seeing as I didnt want them to go, and was sad that i missed the Everland trip and Norae banging, I decieded to get everyone our very own Class 220 Time Machine...

<-- OK so here it is, I just finished purchasing this beautiful piece of equipment for 223,000 won. This 1988 Toyota corolla that somewhat resembles the "Back to the Future" Delorean from Steven Spielberg's classic blockbuster trilogy of movies, but it needs a whole lot of body work.

No worries, Jafari will be doing most of the painting and brakes, shocks and tire work. Lauren will be adding bunny flares to the doors, Adi is in charge of installing the sound system, Sam of reading the manual and operation of the devices, Dave of stocking some munchies in the trunk and Raza at the wheel.
In a white lab coat I will be in charge of installing the time circuits...
In order to give it it's time travelling capabilities I purchased this on Ebay:

Napoleon Dynamite's Time Machine...















Now with the help of the rest of my 220 family, together we will all jump in the Time Travelling Toyota, With Raza sporting a cool pair of shades and dark pink driving gloves, Ayrat in the passenger seat smoking a Marlboro and head half cocked out of the window with the wind in his hair, Jafari and Sam and the girls in the back seat giving each other Swedish massages and Dave (who fell asleep in the trunk) yelling that someone forgot to get him and the beer out of there... and of course me, on the front hood straddling like a trophy deer begging Raza not to hit 88 miles per hour (mostly because of Gas mileage issues) because I am positive the machine is not ready to be field tested; Ayrat interrupts me by saying, "I don't give shit... raza... you go now."

And with that we will go where no Level 1 Korean Speaking Student has gone before...

Maybe first to the prehistoric times of great Pangaea, trying to save lauren from being chased by hungry giant saber toothed bunnies that Jafari beats with a large bone, or to Roman times where we can all dress up in togas and save Sam from being named the next Cesar; we will travel to the hills of ancient Mayan territory so Ayrat can pick up a virgin girl or two, and to Ancient Egyptian times where Pharaoh will mistake Raza for the Sun god and try to have us burned alive while still keeping Adi as his queen and the keep also the Toyota for himself... but Adi gets the keys away with quick thinking and norae banging the guards to sleep...

But most of all we will travel to the moment of our destiny! Namely the beginning of the class on march 2nd 2009 where we will come out of a time warp, headlights smoking and the end of my hair slightly frizzed with electro magnetism. The other students of Yonsei university's KLI watching as one by one all of us get out of the car "Armageddon" style and walk in cool unison to the 220 classroom... already knowing all the answers to Sun Saeng Nim's questions and with Raza at the helm saying in his trademark voice... "I will pass this test this time bitchyeeeeehs!"
As the last of us walk into the KLI building, the crowd of onlookers turn towards the dented, discolored 1988 Time Travelling Toyota Corolla to see it rocking back and forth with Dave still in the car yelling, "is someone gonna get me the hell outta this trunk or what???"

Hope you like the gift guys^^ 220: It's a family yo~

Lost On The R.O.K.: Part 1 of 8

Part 1 in of 8 describing my time here in South Korea over a period of 2 years

It's raining outside. There's nothing magical about it, it just looks sleek and somewhat dark. I have a playground right outside my window that is usually very lively, but right now the swings are being used by the wind and nothing more.

I moved to this apartment 5 months ago tomorrow, a nice little home in the middle of the Gyeonggi province of Suwon city. I came here from Cleveland, Ohio... a place that is almost exactly 7000 miles away, clear on the other side of the planet. Now that I think about it though, 7000 miles isn't all that much. I once took a car trip from Cali to NYC in 4 days and that was about 3000 miles. So I guess what I'm really trying to say is; If you want to come see me, jump in your car and take an 8 day ride to the “Land of the Morning Calm“.

Now whoever the hell made that name up should be shot and tortured, because one of the very first things I learned about the ROK (Republic of Korea) upon arriving here is there is nothing Calming about this place! Things are always in a perpetual state of frenzy. If the ROK were a washing machine, then that would be it's setting... "FRENZY" with the setting right next to it for "COMPLETELY DRUNK" for those Friday afternoons when people need to relieve the stress of the week's work load. I tell you, there are no two sights more worth seeing, than “the Race” everyone seems to be competing in and that immigration somehow forgot to mention when declaring. You don’t believe there is a secret race only Koreans know about? Well just take a look around when running towards a train, a bus or even a taxi. It’s all true I tell you! But I'm no saint, I've found myself lately pushing old women aside and jumping through some closing subway train doors Indiana Jones style and landing straight on a high school student in a packed train car full of on looking Koreans (who no doubt are intimidated by the fact that I have joined their beloved race, afraid I might get to the finish line before they do, wherever the hell this finish line is ^-^).

But that's the great thing about the ROK and it's people. You know, you can't really call a place home unless you start to adopt it as your own, including customs and culture. If your feeling uncomfortable in a place, then what’s the point of being there? You know, I can prove that the people can smell a foreigner a mile away here, because no one used to sit next to me when I first got here, whether it be train or bus or hell or high water (the first person to make a deodorant joke is gonna get it!)... no one was getting close to me or any other foreigner for that matter. But now people take a seat next to me without thinking twice. Even if there is room on other parts of the car. I think that’s because I don’t give a crap anymore, just like they don’t give a crap^^

The second sight is that of the drinking culture here in town, especially in kangnam on a warm Friday afternoon. Back home you see a drunk guy, or university student and it's normal. But the guy is usually dressed in crappy clothes or some middle class variation and the student is at a club or a kegger. What I mean is you usually don’t see a high powered executive and his pretty secretary in a 5$ restaurant walking out weaving and wobbling all the way to a Norae Bang. I got to say, it's a great sight though...

Here, try to Imagine this picture:
your walking to the bus in the midst of a Mob of people, heads or moving to and fro in a weaving fashion. in the corner there is a beautifully dressed girl, maybe a model, a man in a power tie is holding her hair up as she struggles not to throw up. Most likely he is struggling with the same dilemma. Meanwhile, two men are arguing fiercely, they exchange some really loud and unkind words, then they hug and walk off into the sunset singing and calling each other "Brother". You get to the destination, and there are youngsters in line, as well as couples, elderly, kids, whatever... and everybody and I do mean EVRYBODY looks like they are playing this game called "how much can you Bobble Head?".

Now, before you miss my point and think I am in some way insulting the people here, think again.

This is a people that believe they have no identity, or thought so up until recently where now they are finding a voice in this world. A voice that is always being drowned by the constant threats of being snuffed out by their Northern Brother. It's quite difficult to sustain a voice in the world when you have to yell all the time just to hear yourself think.
These people have been beat on, repressed, scrutinized and dictated to like children by it's neighbours for hundreds of years. Yet they find a way, amongst their suspicions to find a way to truly understand each other. They find a way amongst their poverty to continue to climb the world's political ladder. They find a way to, through their food, their obsessive singing, their strong men and beautiful women, to prevail and infect anyone who comes in contact with them with this idea that love is the most blinding and consuming power on the face of the earth... but we must bury it, keep it suppressed deep inside and act as if we feel nothing, so that no one sees our weakness in fear that the past might repeat itself. Yet the more they try to hide it, the more intriguing they become. And when you glimpse into the heart of one of these people, for the short amount of time that they allow you to see it... then you feel as if you have been to and discovered "El Dorado" but don't know how to get back to it.
More so, just like the fairy tale myth of the Golden City… no one believes you've been there at all.

---------------

Moving on, Seoul is a city full of cities. Like a L.A. I guess. I study at the western border, the University riddled area of Sin Chon, a district crowded by both Koreans and foreigners. It's a nice place to go to relish in the many different styles of food Korea has to offer, there are literally hundreds of shops, restaurants and little parks and landmarks, malls and pubs to go to. But how is that different from anywhere else in Seoul?
I began my schooling at Yonsei about 2.5 months ago. It was a dream come true for me, just like everything else since coming here has been. Seeing the bonsai styled trees and cherry blossoms rise above the campus, to see the centuries old Main building and youth walking through the network of libraries, courts and schools reminded me of why I was here in the first place. And so as I walked up the little hill and through a park to my destination at the Korean Language Institute, I let myself daydream about the reasons for my decision to come here.

It's no secret that I once loved, and probably still do, a Korean girl by the name of Hahm Jiyoung. She was my initial curiosity with this country. Then after we broke up, a TV show called full house became my second connection with this place. It made so much sense to me after watching that show, that I have a problem with showing and maintaining a constant flow of positive emotions. But so do Koreans.
It seems like, through watching that show, that this was the way they wished to express themselves, with the magic of perfect love hidden behind the farce of their remorseless character.

And here I was... living 7000 miles away from a place I could definitely lose myself in, work in, grow old in and be understood in. Something I have had quite a bit of trouble with these last 29 years. No lie, I saw a movie called "Into the Wild" and quickly made the decision to do the same thing and go where things would soon prove to be for me the hardest and greatest adventure of all. With nothing but a picture of Jiyoung and my clothes in a suitcase, I called KBS 3 days before leaving and arranged a sit down with them. I came here to this beautiful place and made and created a dream Job at the studio, I have a dream apartment with a great family whom has taken me in as one of their own and I go to a great University (2nd only to Seoul Uni. the National school). And Jesus completed this dream about a month ago, when Jiyoung finally called me and said she wanted to see me again.
Surprisingly... dreams tend to change as you get older. It seems I have fallen for another Korean girl... I am at crossroads trying to figure that one out. still that’s a whole other story.

Sooooooo, now for the moment we've all been waiting for^^

CLASS #220 - Level 1 Korean at KLI

Graduation will be this Thursday. I passed and that’s all I want to say on the matter. It was quite stressful, and I’m sad to say that my temper, strong attitude coupled with confrontations of other strong characters caused a rift in the bond I've had with some of these people. But that’s why I am writing this isn’t it?.... And maybe that’s just the way life is. Still, lets see how much we can recover with the power of words.

More than friends I can proudly say that the people of class 220# are a family. And I say that out of pure convenience for my own precarious situation, where there are three rules that guide most families behaviour:

1) They fight, they make up, they fight and they make up again. that’s why it's called a family.

2) No matter how far apart they drift, and how much they forget each other, and no matter how angry, happy, sad, sick or crazy they are, there will only be one of that kind of family and they will always be your family. No one can change the fact that we are class 220. There will only be one of us and no one can ever change that. Other people will occupy the classroom, but no one could ever recreate these past 2 months.

3)Corny as it is and may sound, family is where the heart is. and so, as we walk on to become whatever it is that life has set before us; we will forget each other with the new experiences we enjoy and suffer. Yet these words will always exist. Maybe not forever on a website, but definitely forever in my heart. And so I know that no matter what happens,

Jafari, Lauren, Adi, Sam, Dave, Ayrat, Raza and Me are entwined in both my heart and an event that will never change. We were class 220# of the Yonsei University's Level 1 Korean Language Institute , beginning March 2nd and finishing June 11th 2009.

1# Jafari ssi whom we called Mr. Undong because he was all ripped and muscular with Spider man style forearms and a great laid back attitude. He influenced everyone with his calm “lets all take it one step at a time guys” demeanour. Our big brother and class protector, we thank you for all your support man!

2# Lauren (the bomb), haha, I mean that in a good "your the bomb yo!" sort of way. I will admit, we had our run ins, I think I became that type of person that people just can't stand in her eyes. There was definitely a point of no return where I know I could not redeem myself and her acting towards me was evidence of it as well as mine towards her. But for what it's worth, big brothers and little sisters fight all the time and I would rather see harm come to myself before letting something happen to the rabbit loving “I’m so cute I could burst” child genius of the class. Sincerely, it was great to know you in any capacity =)

3# Adi "The Boss" Sarig... OMG is this girl strong willed!!! But what more can you expect from one of God's people? >.<
Yes I also got on her bad side, haha, but only because I am strong willed too... it's like our friendship was something from the discovery channel and your watching two Lions going toe to toe and head butting each other to the point of unconsciousness =q
but good or bad Adi was the Boss. She took things into her own hands and made sure we all had a good time whether we liked it or not! And for that we truly appreciate your time miss Sarig^^

4# Sam (The samonite, Samsung, samster or... my favourite... THE SWEDISH HULK!!!)
What can be said about this guy? Concerned for everyone’s feelings, well being, kind and calm in nature.... until you make him angry.... holy crap I will never forget the time in the elevator when he nearly used my face to push the "Open door" button on the elevator. We almost left jaffari behind that day, but we didn't because of Sam, that’s just the kind of person he is, a no one gets left behind, take no prisoners, I’m going to spam the hell outta your facebook until you hate me" kind of guy. ummm, ok so truth be told we did leave jafari behind that day, but Sam tried his best is what I'm saying. What more can you ask for in a friend? Just to try...

5# Dave ssi: Well Dave is known as the Ajussi... but I would hate to be remembered by that name so I'll strike it as him being a victim of OH Sun Saeng Nim. What can I say about Dave? A true gentleman from South Africa, his last name is Macintosh and with good reason. He never breaks down, never gets angry, never loses composer or cool. Straight as an arrow and loyal to all, most of all himself and us. They should name the next MAC computer after him, but it would have to be the sturdiest Mac ever made if they wanted to use his name in my opinion. Thanks Dave for your words of solidarity and comfort, God bless you, your wife and the family your a short time away from creating.

6# Ayrat "I am the best thing since Russia almost fired Nuclear bombs at America" Sabitov:
he'll be mad I didn’t make him first in this friggin blog, that’s the kind of guy my best friend and future best man is like. But that’s ok, we all love him anyway. And let me tell you, the amount of love this guy attracts sometimes gets a little sickening, haha. But all jealousy aside, Ayrat is a Nomad just like me. A person without a place and I mean that both in this world and in his own heart. We are the kind of people that walk the Earth aimlessly looking for a shoulder to cry on and a heart to love us. The only difference is that we are opposites and that’s why we go so well together. we even each other out. that’s why I'm glad to call this guy my friend.
I just hope I don't kill him before then end of these two years >.<

7# Raza: one of the truly honest and kind people left on this earth. He always means well, and tries his best. Its hard to see a guy like Raza fail... I mean I could sit here and write about this guy for hours and tell you all the funny and quirky things he does. But I've done that already. maybe we should remember Raza for his strength. He invited us t his home out of the warmth in his heart and fed us. Forget if it was a colossal disaster, hahaha. No, the truth is that he tried harder than all of us, and for that he should be commended. So lets forget his raspy wicked witch of west voice for a second and just remember his kind attitude and cool looking gloves he wore obsessively.

and 8# Me... Kimbab... Should I be self serving and explain the reasons for my acting over the past 2 months? No. Let the people in my family remember me how they wish. hopefully these words will describe what I truly feel for them. But just to say a bit about myself: I was funny for a month, a complete dick for the second month and then a recluse for the last 2 weeks. But for what it's worth, I was and always be a writer... and so I am a writer here and now for our last day. And yet all I can write to my friends is - God Bless you all, and God’s speed!

Graduations’ this Thursday, and this is the end of the first part in an eight part chapter of my recollections of the adventures I am having in the ROK... South Korea. My new home.
May the winds blow you where they may, may you find Jesus where they blow you to, and may you never forget these words;

"If Life was a battle, and death is the culmination of the war... to what means did you fight it? with whom did you fight? and mostly... what did you get out of it in the end? If you have no answer for these questions, but you are looking for an answer... then maybe Jesus is the only prize you should seek."
- Gilberto Figueroa Jr.